Interoffice Memorandum · No. 3511
- DATE:
- September 2026
- TO:
- All callers
- FROM:
- The switchboard
- RE:
- Marlene (return of)
Marlene has returned to the switchboard after a short absence. The hold music did its best.
You remain caller number two.
The Company Archive · Vol. 36 · Est. 1990
The files.
Every interoffice memorandum since 1990, in the order Records prefers. Some records are sealed. Most are just filed.
Copy 1 of 3. Copy 2 is with Records. Copy 3 remains at large.
Interoffice Memorandum · No. 3507
- DATE:
- August 2026
- TO:
- All staff
- FROM:
- The Vanilla Department
- RE:
- Vanilla (status of)
The Vanilla Department reports that vanilla is coming soon.
Soon is a Company term. It is defined in a binder. The binder is coming soon.
Interoffice Memorandum · No. 3502
- DATE:
- August 2026
- TO:
- People with bodies
- FROM:
- The Company
- RE:
- Our position on dessert
It has come to our attention that adults stopped drinking chocolate milk around 1997. The Company considers this an unforced error. Ours carries colostrum and collagen, so the afternoon glass is hereby reinstated. Participation is voluntary but expected.
The Chocolate Milk Division
Interoffice Memorandum · No. 1408
- DATE:
- May 2003
- TO:
- Break room
- FROM:
- Facilities
- RE:
- The second refrigerator
A second refrigerator has been approved for the break room.
The first refrigerator has been notified.
Interoffice Memorandum · No. 0999
- DATE:
- December 1999
- TO:
- All staff
- FROM:
- The Computer Department (both of them)
- RE:
- Year 2000 preparedness
Concern has been raised that at midnight the computers will believe it is 1900.
The Company notes that the milk does not know what year it is and has never asked. Preparations are complete.
Interoffice Memorandum · No. 0781
- DATE:
- October 1997
- TO:
- The Board
- FROM:
- Market Observation
- RE:
- Adults and chocolate milk (cessation of)
It has come to our attention that adults have stopped drinking chocolate milk.
The Company has reviewed its options and elected to wait.
See you when they come back.
Interoffice Memorandum · No. 0403
- DATE:
- March 1994
- TO:
- All departments
- FROM:
- The Company
- RE:
- The fax machine (acquisition of)
The Company has acquired a fax machine. Documents can now be wrong in two places at once.
Training is voluntary but expected.
Interoffice Memorandum · No. 0114
- DATE:
- June 1991
- TO:
- All staff
- FROM:
- Facilities
- RE:
- The suggestion box (installation of)
A suggestion box has been installed outside Records. Suggestions are read every Thursday. The box is emptied every second Thursday.
The difference is deliberate.
Interoffice Memorandum · No. 0001
- DATE:
- January 1990
- TO:
- All staff (1)
- FROM:
- The Company
- RE:
- Commencement of operations
The Company opened today at nine. Chocolate milk was served at three. Both went fine.
This memorandum establishes the archive. All subsequent events will be filed.
Records
End of open records. A new memo is filed monthly.
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